Bad Poetry

Bad Poetry

I’d caress you like a baby kitten

I’d snuggle you like a fat fluffy rabbit

I’d bite your pectoral fin like a nurse shark in heat

I’d chew on you like a dog with a plastic bacon flavored bone

I’d nibble you like a panda nibbles bamboo on those long hot Chinese nights

I’d hold you like a an old grudge

I’d think of you obsessively

I’d obsess over you constantly

I’d slurp you like the sugary milk at the bottom of my cereal bowl

I’d stalk you like a ninja of love

I’d hunt for you like lost car keys

I’d jump all over that like a trampoline

I’d do you like a crossword puzzle, up and down and across

I’d crush on you like a garbage compactor

I’d hug you close like a newborn babe

I’d lay more strokes on you than a golf course

I’d drink from the chalice of your femininity like it was the Holy Grail

I’d kiss you like Ben Affleck right before he went to blow up that big fucking asteroid

I’d butter you like a naughty little piece of toast or a slutty cinnamon bagel

I’d use you like a biscuit to sop up the gravy left on my plate

I’d lick you like a triple stack ice cream cone under the summer sun

I’d croon to you like a frog in a pond right before the water moccasin struck

I’d ride you like a three-legged donkey

I’d squeeze you like dollar store tube of aquafresh

I’d take you again and again like free ordurbs at a cocktail party

I’d shake you like a mobile home caught in a hurricane

I’d cover you like a New Orleans flood insurance policy

I’d suck on you like a mosquito

I’d cling to you like a bad smell

I’d do you like a Hill Billy, dirty and stupid

I’d bring you home like an abandoned puppy and yell at you when you wet the rug

I’d mutter at you incoherently like a half crazed hobo

I’d write you bad poetry

I’d worship you like a pagan

I’d love you like a child

I’d hate you for making me love you

I’d stare hard at your dirty pillows

Oh yeah, I like the pillows


About thelastmonte

I'm a ninja for hire An ice cube on fire A soothsayer and liar Deceitful, dashing and dire A menacing muse muddling meanings in the mire My mind tumbles around like a cat in a dryer When it comes down to the wire I get lit like a pyre Kicking hobbits out the shire In jet black attire like a cocaine supplier And I aspire to acquire your ire Oh, and I also do freelance work.
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